The injustice of it all!!!

Nicklas Bendtner was caught in Copenhagen driving drunk and has been given a three-year driving ban, a six-month suspension from the Danish national team, and a fine of £97,000 (Kroner). Perhaps worst of all, Juventus are now apparently exploring their options and could cancel Bendtner’s loan, meaning that we’d have to take him back.

I wasn’t even going to waste any time thinking about the issue until I learned of this consequence. Look, I’m sure Bendtner has his talents, but I’m not so sure that redirecting a ball into the net is one of them. He had done tolerably well for us when he was here, but I still don’t see him as a better option than Theo Walcott, Olivier Giroud, Lukas Podolski, or even Gervinho. Were he a fraction as good as he thinks he is then I’d reconsider. As it is, I’m left hoping that Juventus is just stuck with him, or maybe we were clever enough to insert a moral turpitude clause in his contract, but I doubt it, because this would have allowed us to dump him all the more promptly.

In all seriousness, though, I’m angry at Bendtner on two fronts, one admittedly for trivial and selfish behaviour and the other just a touch more grave.

Firstly, now that he’s even more damaged, we’ll probably find it that much harder to get rid of him at a price we like. He’s no longer quality-enough to attract top-dollar offers, even if he had been in form for Juventus, which he hasn’t been. So it goes.

Far more seriously, even if only hypothetically and after the fact, he drove drunk. Now, nothing happened, other than maybe a clipped rear-view mirror, but the fact that a ridiculously overpaid athlete couldn’t be bothered to hire a chauffeur to drive him or a lackey to run a rickshaw is absurd.

So your career hasn’t followed the trajectory you imagined? Tough muffins. You kick a ball around a few times a week. Some of us handle industrial-grade plutonium or (try to) educate equally toxic teenagers. Some of us have nothing to do but to scan the classifieds and hope. You say that this is the worst day of your life? Try losing an actual job or looking at your kids knowing that there’s not food enough to feed them. Try saying goodbye to a loved one for the last time. Before I say something more cutting that I may regret, it is worth remembering that there is something significant that he was trying to drown out. Until then, he’s lucky that he only emerges from this as merely a selfish twat.

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