So tomorrow we travel to Shite Fart Lane, I mean White Hart Lane, to take on the team who truly believe that they are better than us, despite lifting their last league title back in 1963…my dad was 8!!!
Anyway moving forward. As the two sides go head-to-head in what can only described as a huge match, even so early on this season, I decided to get in touch with Harry Hotspur, editor of Spuds site…Harry Hotspur, to ask him his thoughts on the upcoming derby game.
Here is what the deluded Spud had to say (sorry Mate had to get that in):
I know we are only 5-6 Premier league games in to the new season, but how do you think your boys have fared so far?
I think we’re on our way, thank you very much. Nobody likes getting humiliated and we need to make sure we don’t drop points endlessly against lower league muck as we did last season.
6 games in, 7 points accumulated and 12 conceded, do you think this is the best time to play Arsenal?
In simple terms, we are going to bomb you back to the stone age.
How’s Europa League treating you this season? Can Defoe make Thursdays?
Jermain is loving Thursdays. Billy and Ade have been so supportive we’re convinced he couldn’t possibly be more primed and ready to rock.
On a serious note, what are your expectations this year and can you achieve them?
We’re all Champions League focused over here. Our business model has been a crazy club called ‘Woolwich Wanderers’ and we are set upon bettering their record.
Will Modric be leaving in January?
He has a chicken badge allergy and we have to respect that. He is over the age of consent and will command a fee in excess of £40m so I don’t think he will register on Arsenal’s radar.
Which player(s) should Arsenal fans be most wary of?
Given their disciplinary record and some seriously naff performances if I was a Gooner, I would be most fearful of the blokes in the red shirts.
Where do you think the game will be won/lost for Spurs?
We need to prevent you guys from passing and quite simply take the ball, keep it and go for the jugular. I honestly do not think you’ll come out of this in tact.
Is it written in the stars for Adebayor to bag a goal?
Paddy Power have predicted this mate! Show me a man who wants to bet against a Mick bookie, I’ll show you a fool.
Do you think Bale should audition for the next Planet of the Apes movie? I see he didn’t manage to get into the newest one.
I am ITK on this mate. Bale’s lawyers prevented his participation in that film as it was largely animated and he has already signed to star in ‘The Hair Bear Bunch’ film as the zoo keeper in charge of Micky Hazard, A&E and Garth Crooks [cameo role].
The last 3 PL meetings between the two sides have produced 14 goals! Do you, like me, anticipate a high scoring game at WHL? Can we get a prediction on the match?
I am erring on the side of caution. 3 or 4 nil to the Tottingham. This is going to get very very grim for your lot. Arsenal are gonna get whacked. Simply a case of, ‘by how much’.
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