Posted on Thursday, 31st March 2011 by Gavin Connolly
To be honest with you, I couldn’t give a flying frisbee about those matters right now. All I want is a win. I want Arsenal to record a victory this Saturday so I can writhe in my footballing self-righteousness.
Losing sucks, and as you can guess, I am a very sore loser. I slept on the sofa around this time last year because my girlfriend beat me at Monopoly. A pointless freaking board game based solely on the luck of the dice. I remember it well. The sun glistened on the iron’s handle as my property stack grew quicker and stronger every minute. Unfortunately it all went to pot, and the iron, along with the flea ridden yelping dog, ended up decorating the floor.
Amazingly, we’ve had several rematches since then and I have won them all. Interestingly, I cannot remember a single thing about any of these games. Apart from maybe the very unattractive gloating that followed.
You’ve probably figured out the point of this tangent and the parallels that can be drawn about the current crop of players. If not, then I should really give up on this whole writing business and find a new hobby. But for those of you who aren’t following, these Arsenal players must be sick to the back of their teeth of memories that, like the Monopoly club, end in tears and petulance.
The Gunners faced West Brom, Newcastle, Birmingham City, Barcelona and Manchester United and guess what, they lost. Just how long will it be before this group of players learn that it is not okay to feel sorry for themselves, whilst others parade before them?
I truly don’t care how we win any more, I really don’t. I don’t care if Robin Van Persie needs something specific by his side when travelling to away games, and I don’t care if Arsene Wenger is found to have ordered a box of Werther’s originals. All I really want, and care about, is a victory over Blackburn at the Emirates this weekend, and a further 8 victories to follow. Then, and only then, can I forget about Monopoly.
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